The “Golden Rule” is killing your career. We’ve all been told to treat people how we want to be treated, but in a high-stakes professional environment, that is a lazy strategy. If you communicate with your boss or your team based only on your own preferences, you aren’t leading—you’re just projecting.
In the age of AI, technical skills are becoming commodities. Your only remaining competitive advantage is Strategic Empathy. I sat down with Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit, a Ph.D. in Organizational Psychology, to dismantle the Enneagram—not as a “personality test,” but as a rigorous EQ framework designed for career survival. We discuss why understanding the “engine” behind human behavior is the only way to stay relevant when algorithms can do the rest.
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The 4 Ways to AI-Proof Your Leadership Using EQ
1. Identify Your “Autopilot” Under Stress
Most leaders fail not because they lack skill, but because they lack awareness of their default patterns when the pressure spikes. Dr. Karl explains how the Enneagram helps you name your blind spots before your boss does. If you don’t see your patterns, you are a political risk to the organization.
2. Move from the “Golden Rule” to the “Platinum Rule”
Treating people how they need to be treated is the secret to social awareness. By understanding whether your colleague operates from the Head (Analysis), Heart (Connection), or Action (Results) center, you can tailor your communication to what they actually value, rather than what you assume they want.
3. Deploy “The Karl Move” for Radical Clarity
Most workplace conflict stems from implied expectations. Dr. Karl shares a specific verbal formula to fix this: “By [DATE], I will deliver [THING], and you’ll know it’s done when [EVIDENCE].” This creates a stabilizing force in any organization.
4. Use the Formula for Change ($P + V > C$)
Transformation only happens when the Pain ($P$) of staying the same and the Vision ($V$) of the future are greater than the Cost ($C$) of changing. Use this formula to evaluate your own career pivots and lead your team through the anxiety of AI integration.
Key Insights & Timestamps
- 00:00 – The AI Survival Guide: Why IQ is now a commodity.
- 02:30 – Why the “Golden Rule” fails in professional leadership.
- 09:15 – Beyond Buzzwords: What the Enneagram actually is.
- 17:30 – The Stress Formula: How pressure rewires your brain.
- 32:30 – The mathematical formula for successful career pivots.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What is the Enneagram in a business context? It is an Organizational Psychology tool used to identify stable personality traits and motivations to improve team dynamics and leadership EQ.
How do I improve my relationship management at work? By moving from “implied” to “explicit” expectations. Use clear dates and evidence-based results to build trust and reliability.
What is the #1 lesson from this interview? Your technical skills won’t save you from AI; your ability to regulate your reactions and influence others through strategic empathy will.
Full Episode Transcript
(Here is the full transcript of the episode featuring Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit.
Nathaniel Schooler: This episode in the AI survival guide uses workplace and organizational psychology to help you understand how your personality drives your reactions at work and at home. But we’re here to talk about work so you don’t get outperformed by more emotionally intelligent peers or AI or a combination of them both.
So I’m joined by Karl Hebenstreit. He is a PhD level executive coach and an award-winning author with over 25 years experience using the Enneagram, which you’re going to find out all about, and organizational psychology to help leaders and teams exceed their goals. So, I think I mean, first of all, thank you for joining me. Really appreciate it.
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: Thanks for having me here, Nate. I’m looking forward to our conversation.
Nathaniel Schooler: Yeah. I mean, we talk—I’ve been talking about this for a long time, right, about how we’re all completely conditioned by our environments, our upbringing, the color of our skin, the location, the weather, where we—you know, everything in our lives could be a word that we just heard this morning, right? Or a conversation that we heard on the television or some sort of bad programming that we kind of picked up when we were at school or our parents did to us. And I’m a big believer in like taking responsibility for that.
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: I like to say the Golden Rule is probably one of the biggest challenges that we have to overcome—the hurdles—because the Golden Rule, everyone agrees that the Golden Rule is something that is good and right and we should abide by. And the Golden Rule of course is treat others the way that you want to be treated, which would work if everyone were the same. And if every single situation were the same and if all the values were the same and the politics were the same, the ideologies were the same. But we’re not all the same.
We’re very different people from all over the world. And even if we’re part of the same city or state, we’re so different within those neighborhoods, too. So, the reality is letting go of that because it’s been so ingrained in us… the reality is let’s step out of that because that’s very self-referencing and we really need to figure out what is going on with other people and what other information, perspectives, values, ideologies, strengths that they have that we can also integrate into our own worldview to expand that to become as you were saying earlier more emotionally intelligent so that we have empathy for all those other perspectives as well. That’s the Platinum Rule. Treat others the way that they want to be treated. What’s going on for them?
Nathaniel Schooler: Wow. It’s literally a lifetime study, right? And you’ve been studying this for 25 years or more. Applying this in life is golden—or platinum! So you’re combining the motivations that people have with the way that they’re conditioned? The problem is that we have these programs that are running in the background and that can sit there and self-sabotage us. How would you go about it if someone is struggling and they want to improve their career, but they feel like they’re going backwards?
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: Starting with self as instrument is always the first place to start. It is self-awareness is key. Aristotle or Socrates said “knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” So if you take that self-awareness part—knowing how I think, what my values are—that is the first step. Then realizing that not everyone else has those same perspectives.
We all have different motivations, but we assume that other people are like us. Admitting to yourself you don’t have all the answers. Not one person has all the answers. We want to have as much diversity of perspective around us as possible so we can draw from that, even if it’s not something that we can easily access within us.
Nathaniel Schooler: So what is an Enneagram and how can it help an organization to lead better, retain staff, and have better teamwork?
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: I’ve been in HR and organizational development for over 25 years. I’ve seen and been certified in all the instruments—Myers-Briggs, DISC, Hogan, Strengthfinder. They’re all good, but they’re all about behaviors. They’re not really getting into the why, the motivation behind those behaviors.
Two different people may be showing the same exact behaviors, but for totally different motivations. The Enneagram is a system that is about identifying nine core motivations that all human beings have. We all have one core motivation that we keep with us for our entire life. The easiest way to describe these nine is to look at them in three sets of three because they each reside within three of our different body centers: The Head (Thinking), The Heart (Feeling), and The Body (Action).
Nathaniel Schooler: Let’s start with the Head.
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: Those are the Fives, Sixes, and Sevens.
- Fives (The Observers/Analysts): They want all the information and data to create systems so they don’t look foolish. They want to be wise.
- Sixes (The Loyal Skeptics): They want information to build a backup plan to survive and be secure. They look at the worst-case scenario.
- Sevens (The Adventurers/Epicures): They are visionary, all about the positive things that could happen, the opportunities, and downplaying the negative stuff.
Nathaniel Schooler: I knew I was a Seven anyway! As I’ve got older I’ve come closer to the Five, but I’m a Seven. I’m a total adventurer.
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: There’s a line that attaches the Seven to the Five. The Seven goes to Five when they’re in their comfort zone. But in their stress point, Sevens go to Type One (The Perfectionist) which is part of the Action center. The One is perfectionistic and rigid. When you see a Seven become micromanaging and rigid, they’re probably in their “One zone” because they’re stressed out.
Nathaniel Schooler: So with AI as tools… I can use AI to help me find information so it can help me make decisions so I don’t get frozen by stress.
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: Exactly. Sevens can use AI to help build structure in place so they don’t feel stressed at the end. For a Type Nine in the Action center, they might be less decisive because they are trying to avoid conflict and keep harmony. The Type Eight in the Action center is about immediate action—if it’s the wrong action, we’ll fix it later.
Nathaniel Schooler: What about the Heart types?
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: The Heart center is the Types Two, Three, and Four.
- Twos (The Helpers/Givers): They focus on other people’s needs to feel loved and needed.
- Threes (The Performers/Achievers): They put feelings aside to get goals done. They want to be the best at whatever they do.
- Fours (The Romantics/Artists): They are intense creatives. They feel, therefore they are. They are very empathic.
Nathaniel Schooler: Why is this better than other instruments out there?
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: It goes deeper. Other instruments are based on behaviors. They tell you what you are doing, but they don’t know why. Once we understand the why, we understand that people aren’t doing things to hurt us or sabotage us—they are just looking at the world through a different lens.
Nathaniel Schooler: You mentioned a formula for change?
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: We only change when we’re ready. The formula is: Pain + Vision > Cost of Change. If the pain of staying the same and the vision of a better future are greater than the cost of changing, that’s when we go through the process of changing our perspective.
Nathaniel Schooler: This has been fantastic. Reach out to Karl to help increase your organizational EQ and bottom line. Your passion has rubbed off on me! If this was applied to education, it would transform the world.
Dr. R. Karl Hebenstreit: That was the purpose of my children’s book, Nina and the Really, Really Tough Decision. It’s meant to help kids and parents understand these differences and create empathy.
Nathaniel Schooler: Thanks very much for listening to Influential Visions. Please make sure you share this episode and don’t forget to drop us a review. Cheers!Paste the first 4,000 characters of your transcript here…)
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